CT

ray-winters-sings:

margorothspiegelmanthegreat:

ray-winters-sings:

You never know how much they say “Wildcats” in High School Musical til you have to drink everytime they do.

I’m reblogging this not because they say Wildcats a lot but because we’re acting on the assumption that people who are old enough to drink sit around playing drinking games to HSM and that’s beautiful. 

Currently

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

surprisebitch:

she literally embodies the idea of determination and fierceness

babby saying its first words

cheimin:

babby: m-m-m-m-m-m

mother: mama? =)

babby: M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M

mom: wtf

baby: MANRAY!!!!

image

bamfneblake:

Dracula asks the important questions.

queenoftheshucks:

chaoticbanter:

catsbeaversandducks:

Comic by ©The Oatmeal

I laugh, but it’s frighteningly true

I can’t stop laughing

peko-pekoyama:

leonibuki:

so this is an thing that happened ?? this is my family picture (im the one of the far right btw)

it got posted on both 9gag and also reddit by an unknown weirdo who probably got it from my sister’s fb

but don’t worry though we actually have no problem with this at all ! reading the comments has been the funniest thing ever so keep it up

Never forget

owlapin:

hay-needle:

Do you slip it on him tail first?

nah i just hold it open and he crawls in

marathemara:

iizanimeaddict:

My dad just came into my room and shouted at me in Klingon.

Am I more embarrassed that he did that or that I know he said I was a disappointment to the empire?

You should be most embarrassed that you’re a disappointment to the empire.

whydouwantaname:

bacchus1313:

official-chipotle:

He’s so fucking frustrated

Lol

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

colin-quit-horsing-around:

deanpendragon:

     (colinmorgans)

yeah this of course AND ALSO THE FACT THAT ARTHUR NOTICED THE TINY LITTLE PIECE OF LEAF IN MERLIN’S HAIR like how did he see that? Why was he looking at merlin’s hair in the first place?

lilopelekai:

pleakley + talking about mosquitoes (bonus: cobra bubbles)

missdawntwilight:

c-parks:

momcrotch:

how about getting stabbed

good luck calling for medical attention with a dead phone

Re-blogging purely for that comeback ^

lasagnababy:

in lit we were about to read a book on concentration camps and so my teacher told everyone to draw what came to mind when they thought of world war 2 and she thought the pictures were so good she hung them up on the wall and now i sit in front of this image

ladybols:

thehufflepuffwholeaptthroughtime:

holmesfan:

tin-pan-ali:

area 51 is just the american wizarding school

aliens is a perfect cover story

hOLY SHIT

 (via thestarlesswanderer)

THAT WAS NO ALIEN THEY FOUND— THAT WAS A FUCKING HOUSE ELF.